When Plans Don’t Go Our Way
Some of us are planners. We have our schedules, routines, and plans jotted down on the calendar way in advanced and know exactly what we want to do. Their are also those of us who fly by the seat of our pants through this busy life, “whatever happens, happens” type of attitude. I don’t know which category of people you fall under, but I do know one thing, it stinks when things don’t go our way.
I love making plans. I enjoy making plans for my kids like deciding what extra curricular activities they will participate in, or what fun things we can do on the weekends. I like to make plans for my husband and myself for date nights, anniversary trips, or even cleaning junk out of the storage closet on the weekend. I like to make plans to go eat with friends or having play dates with our kids. Planning can be a good thing, but you’ve heard the saying, “too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.” We can get so caught up in planning our lives and planning our future that we miss out on today. Each day is a gift from the Lord, but at times I feel like I’m rushing it instead of enjoying it. For example, I didn’t plan for Covid-19 to abruptly shut everything down, but by having to stay home those first couple of months during quarantine, I gained precious time with my children that I could have easily missed through the complaining and griping.
Maybe you can relate, but if something that I have planned doesn’t go my way, I unravel into a whirlwind of anger and disappointment. My mood is immediately effected and I’m upset. Something minor can ruin your plans like accidentally oversleeping, your kids getting sick, you spill coffee all over your new shirt on the way to work, you get a flat tire, or you didn’t get the job that you wanted. Some of you have made big plans, but they have been ruined by the loss of a job, having a miscarriage, a sudden illness or death, your kid not going to the college you wanted, a marriage ending, and the list can go on and on.
Proverbs 16:9 says, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” This verse pretty much sums it up straight forward. “We can make our plans, BUT…..”. Someone once told me that anytime the word “but” is used in a sentence, everything said before it should be ignored. Let’s just focus on the part that comes after it, “The Lord determines our steps,” period. I’m not saying that the Lord planned for you to get fired, or for your kids to get sick, but bad things will happen because we are living in a broken world. If God were to heal everyone, if every prayer was answered the way we’d hoped, and if everything was just absolutely perfect, we would be right back where we started in the Garden of Eden before Eve took a bite of that fruit.
There is nothing wrong with making plans, but I would encourage you to pray about those plans, big or small. Think about how you react and respond when those plans don’t go your way. I’m sure all of the moms who are *ahem*, much Wiser, (not calling anyone old) than me, could tell me that at some point, their kids went a different direction than what they would have chosen for them. I’m sure that can be scary and frustrating because we want to have that uttermost control over those precious little people that we brought into this world. I would love to map out my kids lives. I wish I could give my daughter, Piper, a love for cheerleading like I had at one time in hopes that she would want to be a cheerleader one day. I wish I could give my son, Chapal, a desire for sports like his dad. I have learned very early on as a parent that I cannot force my wants and desires on my kids. They are each their own unique person with their own likes & dislikes, and have different personalities. They are neither me nor my husband. I have to fully trust that whichever direction they go in this life that the Lord has their best interest at heart. The most important thing to me is that they fully know Jesus as their Savior and that they have an undeniable, beautiful, and edifying relationship with Him. I can make plans for them all day, but it’s the Lord that determines their steps. If you truly believe that the Lord has your best interest at heart, and your child’s heart, you should have a sense of peace whether those plans have succeeded or not.
Through prayer, you may find that the Lord is leading you in a completely different direction in your life. When you are frustrated or angry at the way things may take a turn, remember that His plans for you are bigger & better than what you could plan for yourself. We sometimes think we can see the bigger picture in our tiny human minds when in reality we can’t. God has the blueprints. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
So I want to ask a question, Who is really in control of your life? Are you intentionally praying as you make plans in your life, or are you fighting to gain full control for yourself? It’s far from easy to fully surrender control over our lives, but what can help enable us to surrender control is to remember that God is in control and has our best interest at heart. One of my husband’s favorite quotes by Charles Swindoll sums it up perfectly, “Nothing in God’s control, is ever out of control.”